..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
