we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
