Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
