another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
