My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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