look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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