I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
