Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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