this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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