I am puke
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
