There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i drank out of a bidet.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
