The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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