i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
