Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
wakey wakey hands off snakey
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
