you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
