Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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