Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
