It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
