What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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