Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
