Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
