y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
