So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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