My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize