I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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