Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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