just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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