do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
where am i from again
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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