You just made me feel so damn special
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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