bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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