i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
