mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
40s are totally the cure
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
