Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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