So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
