yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
