so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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