Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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