I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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