No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
