im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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