? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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