Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Someone shattered a urinal.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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