We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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