You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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