There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have already put on my inside pants.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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