Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
