During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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