You just made me feel so damn special
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You were trust falling into bushes
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
