Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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