The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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